The Dirty Dozen Directory

If you encounter Difficult People (those challenging types) in your life (personal or professional) these tips will help you win the battle. They are Disastrous, Dumb and Deceitful

For more information on scheduling an in-house seminar, contact Larry Nelson

250 The Dirty Dozen – Disastrous, Dumb and Deceitful by w3w3.com Is everyone crazy out there, or is it just me? We all know some difficult people. Whether they are customers, co-workers of even those in your personal life. Listen to this discussion with Larry Nelson about his directory of the “Dirty Dozen” and their characteristics. They range from Saboteurs to Wonderful Ones, from Saints to Emotional Misfits, from Connivers to Bullies, and a few others that will surprise you or get you. What you’ll appreciate the most is understanding what makes you vulnerable and what you can do about it. . Related Links: Training Trends || 3-Filters || TRTR Channel || Beyond the Trends || KEYWORDS: Difficult People, Dirty Dozen, Larry Nelson, Institute for Change Research, Training Trends, 3-Filters > LISTEN Bytes 6843353

Saboteurs – Lurking in the dark shadows

Don’t get paranoid, but there are Saboteurs all around. Am I ever happy I’m not a politician? Politicians are not the only folks that get to deal with or succumb to this category of Difficult People (DP).

Here is a basic description of a Saboteur. They are found, or should I say, not seen lurking in the shadows. They are conniving schemers who are willing to invest a tremendous amount of time and energy to get you. They will stab you in the back when you least expect it, but of course you never expect it, unless you really are paranoid. They will sabotage your goals, promotions, relationships and your ideas.

The person most vulnerable to this DP type is the one who is naïve about a subject, or a person who tends not to follow through. In other words, you better be as persistent and/or driven as your saboteur are.

Three main sub-types of Saboteurs

First there are the Plotters. While they are Posing as your ally (setting you up), they are making arrangements for your downfall. Here is the trap to avoid: Do not get caught without all the facts.

Then there are the Silent Runners. Deception is the name of their game. You’ll never know what hit you. Avoid the self-imposed trap of being caught out on the limb.

Finally there are the One Trackers. For them, the end (or their end) justifies the means. Do not allow yourself to get in the position of being the anti-cause.

Wonderful Ones – So wonderful they are sickening

At times we could all use a few strokes to our ego. Do you believe what they say and do you depend on them? If you do, you are setting your own trap for this category of Difficult People (DP).

Here is a basic description of a Wonderful One. They are so deceptive they don’t even know it. Unlike the Saboteurs they don’t stick it to you on purpose. Many times they are great to be around, and they are generally harmless unless you depend on them. If you buy into what they are dishing out, you are apt to be standing out in the cold with egg on your face. They can
inadvertently sink your best laid plans.

The person most vulnerable to this DP type is the one who has a need to feel good or look important to others as well as the person who is seeking support. In other words, you better have a backup plan if you are depending on them.

Three main sub-types of Wonderful Ones

First there are the Praisers. They are the master strokers. They are the friendly types that go to great lengths to make you feel terrific. Don’t get taken in by their con job.

Then there are the Gutless Wonders. They are known to talk a good game, but they don’t stand up for anything or anyone. Don’t pin your hopes on their words of support.

Finally there are the Helpful Ones. They over commit and over promise, but remember, they are coming from incompetence. Don’t get caught just because you want the job done.

Big Mouths – Their name says it all

While some Big Mouths don’t purposely mean to hurt, this mix of sub-types has its bad side and can be extremely rotten. People in all walks of life can fall victim to this category of Difficult People (DP).

Here is a basic description of a Big Mouth. With them, you heard it here first. Whether it’s an accusation, complaint or just gossip they are happy to spread the word. While they maybe talking to you now, they’ll probably talking about you next. If you ask them, “What time is it?” They’ll build you a clock and explain all the working parts. They weave a web of deception and can cause unexpected problems.

The person most vulnerable to this DP type is the person who is willing to take the time to listen and has the need to be in the know. In this case the Big Ears are playing victim to the Big Mouths, personally or professionally.

Three main sub-types of Big Mouths

First there are the Accusers. They are setting you up because it’s your entire fault. Blaming others behind their back is an everyday occurrence. Don’t be part of the finger-pointing ring.

Then there are the Whiners. You’ll hear them say, “Why me?” To get sympathy, they go on and on about their terrible streak of bad luck. Don’t let your sympathetic ear get pierced.

Finally there are the Broadcasters. They might say,” Lend me your ear.” If there are rumors and gossip not worth hearing, they’ll tell you. Don’t become a victim because you need to confide.

Procrastinators – It’s better to put it off

Deadlines are not the Procrastinators favorite, but unless they are given absolute firm deadlines, you and your team will be negatively impacted and disappointed by this category of Difficult People (DP).

Here is a basic description of a Procrastinator. “Possibly yes and possibly no,” is something they’ll say in conversations. We all procrastinate at some time; however some are just better at it than others. These master put-it-off masters can generally be found surrounded by clutter. Your important project will be put off until the eleventh hour. They are a constant cause of anxiety and always have an excuse.

The person most vulnerable to this DP type is the person who is extremely patient and does not have timelines or metrics specifically identified. A Procrastinator is more vulnerable to a Procrastinator than most others.

Three main sub-types of Procrastinators

First there are the Overloaded. They always have too much to do. Their plans are frequently buried in their piles. Don’t believe their promises of they are ‘gonna do it’.

Then there are the Avoiders. You’ll hear them say under their breath, “That’s not my job.” You can depend on them being late or diverting it to someone. Don’t believe their long list of excuses.

Finally there are the Natural Ones. They might think,” To put it off or not to put it off is
not the question.” It’s simple, just put it off. Don’t believe they are not going to put it off, bet on it.

Wet Blankets – Negativity is their way of life

The depressing aspect of Wet Blankets is it can be catchy. Life has its ups and downs, its good times and challenges, but ‘downs’ and ‘challenges’ best describe this category of Difficult People (DP).

Here is a basic description of a Wet Blankets. Life is not a bowl of cherries and the worst is yet to come. They will help you experience a new depth of gloom and depression. Innovative ideas, and great accomplishments will soon be buried and collecting dust in a pending file. If there isn’t anything negative, they will dig into the past and resurrect old news.
They give a whole new meaning to the phrase, “It’s the pits.”

The person most vulnerable to this DP type is the person who has an intense need for security and wants things to run smoothly. They resist anything that seems out of the box, and they have defined the box.

Three main sub-types of Wet Blankets

First there are the Enforcers. Their watchful eye, secret decoder ring and GPS tracker will make sure you stay in line. Don’t allow their plastic badge to stop you.

Then there are the Pessimists. They are the purveyors of doom and gloom. They know the real story and it’s problems, problems, problems. Don’t let their aura of depression get you down.

Finally there are the Back-seat Drivers. They’ll ask, “What if?” These worry warts are
very weak, but they act bossy to cover up their true feelings. Don’t let their concerns direct your actions.

Exhibitionists – They are interesting for a few minutes

Although many Exhibitionists are only waiting to be discovered, they often distract and mislead. Wanna-be stars with uncontrolled extravert tendencies best describe this category of Difficult People (DP).

Here is a basic description of an Exhibitionists. They are legends in their own minds. If they are not being braggart know-it-alls, they are probably being the life of the party. The world is their stage and their lack of depth and up-to-date experience doesn’t bother them. Before you take their advice, get a second opinion, because they can’t help themselves. They will help you laugh all the way to the poor house.

The person most vulnerable to this DP type is the person who likes to be entertained or is looking for sound advice. Their ability to capture the audience and sound like they are giving experienced advice can nip you in the buns.

Three main sub-types of Exhibitionists

First there are the Show Offs. They are the life of the party. They will do anything to get attention and be in the spotlight. Don’t let their flamboyant facade fool you.

Then there are the Phoneys. They are the local name droppers. Because they are not coming from experience, they exaggerate. Don’t let their false evidence sway you.

Finally there are the Experts. They were there when. These organizational soothsayers
make snap judgments without the facts. Don’t be taken in by the few tidbits they do know.

Saints – Always polishing their halo

It’s not that Saints are perfect, they just think they are. Their glow can be quite distorting. Those attempting to walk on water and heading for the pulpit best describe this category of Difficult People (DP).

Here is a basic description of a Saint. Even as a child, most everyone has experienced at least one Saint. Their magnificence is blinding. They are great at making others feel stupid, wrong and downright sinful. In their self-proclaimed role as rescuers of humanity, their inflatable life savers are filled with the same hot air as their advice. How they assume that role is a mystery, but we seek their forgiveness because we are so                                                             wrong.

The person most vulnerable to this DP type is the one who has a strong need for authority as well as structure. While they are polishing their magic wand, understand that down deep they are trying to help. Don’t let them.

Three main sub-types of Saints

First there are the Wise Ones. Their pretentious stare, reveals they are know-it-alls. Their voice of experience is weak in content and character. Don’t be awestricken by their wisdom.

Then there are the Guilt Purveyors. They are the over-critical parent. They enjoy laying guilt trips and making others feel wrong. Don’t take their rope when they offer to rescue you.

Finally there are the Preachers. They are moralists without fiber. These perfect ones gain favor with those they forgive. Don’t accept their set of misguided principles.

Emotional Misfits – Out of whack software

We all have our days, but Emotional Misfits seldom realize how bad they are. After all they live with themselves every day. Out of control reactionaries describe this category of Difficult People (DP).

Here is a basic description of a Emotional Misfits. Out of control and full steam ahead sums it up. These borderline people, sometimes called humanoids, are am emotional bag of worms and their display of emotions can turn on a dime. They can be calm one minute and out of whack the next. They are often pushy, pesty and psychotic. Their outrageous communications with you can mix up your mental parts like a high-speed blender.

The person most vulnerable to this DP type is the one who is who lacks self-confidence or fears the consequences of emotional outbursts. This is true in cases where the victim feels inferior or is subordinate to the out-of-control maniac.

Three main sub-types of Emotional Misfits

First there are the Jerks. They try to use threatening pressure tactics. Their pushy methods are likened to a brainless bulldozer. Don’t give into their steamrolling methods.

Then there are the Nerds (not computer nerds necessarily). They are often nauseating pests. They wait to be slaughtered. Don’t be smothered by their clinging vine maneuvers.

Finally there are the Turkeys. They have short fuse along and they are temperamental,
explosive and seem to have a dual personality. Don’t be affected by their lack of self control.

Controllers – It’s my way or the byway

We have all seen or dealt with a Controller. Whether they are in a position of authority is irrelevant. Acting as if they have your private pin number describes this category of Difficult People (DP).

Here is a basic description of the Controllers. Their motto could be, “Don’t tell me, I’ll tell you.” Often disguised as a can-do person, getting the job done right doesn’t seem to matter. An attempt to free them of their control only brings out new ways to control. They commonly reject advice, refuse to take orders and act as a team of one. They might be coming from extreme confidence, but that doesn’t necessarily mean competence.

The person most vulnerable to this DP type is the one who someone who doesn’t believe anyone in control could be so incompetent and yet be in control.

Three main sub-types of Controllers

First there are the Block Heads. They are thick as a brick and are open-minded and understanding if you agree with them. Don’t be taken in by their overly confident actions.

Then there are the Space Cadets. There’s a vacancy upstairs. If their brains were dynamite, there wouldn’t be enough to blow their nose. Don’t be swayed by their intelligent sounding comments.

Finally there are the Uncredibles. Unbelievable is an understatement. They believe what’s mine is mine and what’s yours is mine. Don’t plan your future based on their commitments.

Emperors – Their heads are far beyond the clouds

As in history, there are many types of Emperors. Whether self-anointed or ascended by default, misguided directions and a lack of leadership best describe this category of Difficult People (DP).

Here is a basic description of the Emperors. The boss is always the boss; however that doesn’t make the boss an effective leader. These types are about as warm as Attila the Hun, charismatic as a rock or as exciting as watching the grass growing championships. Just remember what ‘boss’ is spelled backwards. These types have caused numerous company downfalls, and they seem to be smoking their own dope.

The person most vulnerable to this DP type is the one the person who doesn’t have a
career path and well established goals or one who lacks confidence and self esteem.

Three main sub-types of Emperors

First there are the Dictocrats. There is no discussion. These autocratic dictators only understand one way of doing something – their way. Don’t follow the blind so blindly.

Then there are the Lazy Faires. Staying put is safe. Their biggest decision is not to decide and they are not going to commit to that. Don’t turn off your brain because of boredom.

Finally there are the Manipulators. It’s contrived from the start. There is never a straight line in their actions, words or deeds. Don’t agree until you know the whole story.

Connivers – It’s a mixture of nothing but the worst

Being taken by a Conniver is embarrassing, but common. Making their own rules, twisting the facts to get their own way and distorting the facts best describes this category of Difficult People (DP).

Here is a basic description of the Connivers. They want more than their fair share. This greedy attitude is their motivation. They claim to be connected and really know someone in a position of authority and can be downright deceitful. At times they complain loudly to get everyone’s attention so they can get what they want. They tend to want what they don’t deserve and haven’t earned, but they keep on trying.

The person most vulnerable to this DP type is the one who is not prepared, tends to be gullible or doesn’t have all the facts so they depend on the opinions of others.

Three main sub-types of Connivers

First there are the Wheeler Dealers. They always want a little bit more. When negotiating they are willing to give you a little less than it cost you. Don’t give away the company store.

Then there are the Squeaky Wheels. They have learned if they complain long enough and a little bit louder they will get what they want first. Don’t ignore others while helping them.

Finally there are the Liars. It might be just a little bitty lie. But with them, a lie is the truth yet to be discovered, or it’s simply convenient. Don’t be armed with less than the truth.

Bullies – It’s mouth over matter

Kids are not the only ones who have to deal with Bullies. While others have a big mouth, the desire to dominate and embarrass others is what best defines this category of Difficult People (DP).

Here is a basic description of the Bullies. These purveyors of oral plague look out of control but know what they are doing. Any sign of weakness encourages louder outbursts. A barrage of absolutely unreasonable requests or lecture intended to embarrass and humiliate are standard fare for this group of idiots. They have different approaches but their mixed bag of neurotic episodes can confuse and upset most anyone.

The person most vulnerable to this DP type is anyone who appears to be afraid, gets unraveled easily, does not project authority and has lower self esteem.

Three main sub-types of Bullies

First there are the Irates. They are all around hot-heads. They seem bent on making a fool of themselves. Don’t ever look weak or out of control.

Then there are the Demanders. They want it now and demand it. They seem bent on wanting what is not theirs. Don’t give up the ship to get rid of them.

Finally there are the Sarcastics. They might be labeled an ‘oral machete’. They seem
bent on making a fool out of you. Don’t come back with slick one-liners.

Done in partnership with Institute for Change Research and TrainingTrends.com. In-house training inquiries to Larry Nelson

250 The Dirty Dozen – Disastrous, Dumb and Deceitful by w3w3.com Is everyone crazy out there, or is it just me? We all know some difficult people. Whether they are customers, co-workers of even those in your personal life. Listen to this discussion with Larry Nelson about his directory of the “Dirty Dozen” and their characteristics. They range from Saboteurs to Wonderful Ones, from Saints to Emotional Misfits, from Connivers to Bullies, and a few others that will surprise you or get you. What you’ll appreciate the most is understanding what makes you vulnerable and what you can do about it. . Related Links: Training Trends || 3-Filters || TRTR Channel || Beyond the Trends || KEYWORDS: Difficult People, Dirty Dozen, Larry Nelson, Institute for Change Research, Training Trends, 3-Filters > LISTEN Bytes 6843353

Copyright © 2007 Larry & Pat Nelson

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